I don't pretend to know what's really going on.

In many ways, I don't want to know what's going on.

Then I wouldn't be me.  

And if I weren't me, life would suck.  

I don't even know why I'm writing this

I'm not particularly bored

I'm not feeling a particular emotion

I don't want any particular thing

I just...wanted to write.

That's a good enough reason, right?

Well, to me it is.

And that's all that matters.

Change

I'm glad that things have changed the way that they have. 

I'm still me, but then again, not really.  

I still get jealous.  I still cry.

I still hug.  I still love.

But it feels so different.  Not the kind of different that used to scare me a month ago.  

This different is something that can be embraced.  Something that I can cling on to.  

Something with hope.  

No one really gives hope credit.  But we really do need it.  And that's what I have now.

Just hope.  

It's a beautiful thing, you know? 

Welcome back, Rachel :)